Just in time for potentially awkward holiday gatherings, we present a holiday fave: Author and civil rights lawyer Abby Dees tells our allies go ahead, ask LGBTQ relatives or friends your burning questions. If you’re queer, she says grin and bear it, even encourage those cringe-worthy questions.

Dees believes that if asking out of love, all questions are opportunities to broaden understanding. So she wrote Queer Questions, Straight Talk: 108 frank & provocative questions it’s okay to ask your lesbian, gay or bisexual loved one. Hear a bunch of them — and how Dees handles them — on this week’s Out in the Bay.

We also hear Dar Williams’ “The Christians and the Pagans,” about the Solstice-celebrating lesbian couple that drops in unexpectedly on a conservative uncle’s family on Christmas Eve. (It’s among my favorite holiday songs, brings a sweet tear every time I hear it! Learn about Williams’ songwriting and other workshops, her books, and her new music on her website.)

This episode first aired in 2013 and remains relevant today. Enjoy the dated terms and appreciate how far we’ve come!

Year-end request: Please help us keep bringing LGBTQ news, voices and stories to the world by making a tax-deductible donation to Out in the Bay now. Thank you! And remember employer matches!*

*On employer match service Benevity, search “Out in the Bay” or look for us under Media Alliance. Out in the Bay is technically a non-profit project of Media Alliance, a 501c3 organization. If your employer doesn’t use Benevity, please ask your Human Resources department about how your company can match your donations.